Posted by: grantahelms | November 28, 2011

Sound Off

This blog will be a little different than usual. Well, I don’t know, I’ve been told that I jump all over the place. Those of you who follow this blog, and take time to read the comments, saw me receive a spanking for some comments that I made. It was well deserved, but wasn’t what my post was really about. Also, for the past 11 days, my wife and I have been watching 4 young (really young 6,5,3,1) children for a friend of ours. Well, honestly, more like a daughter. Several days ago she called to ask us if we could watch the children a little longer. Seems that she has gotten in a little trouble with the law. Today, another call. Crying!

I have known this girl for 5 years, and never heard her this distraught. After getting her to calm down, she began to inform us that she was in serious trouble. Seems that she has been running from a bench warrant for not appearing in court on a shoplifting charge. Well, that’s not to bad. Then she began to explain how she had used someone else’s credit card. Bad! Then she explained how this mistake had cost her 2 felony warrants for identity theft. Real bad!! Once again, she’s running. Really really bad!!! And, guess what? We’re stuck in the middle with 4 children. Thank goodness we didn’t know anything about this to start with. But how does this make me feel better. It doesn’t! Her mother is a crack-head, her father walked out when she was 7, all of the children have different fathers which aren’t involved, so the children get the shaft!

So, she wants us to care for the children now until… who knows when. Though we would never turn our backs on these children, it will be up to a judge and DSS if we can keep them. The reason I named this post” Sound Off”, is because that’s what I want you to do! Has this ever happened to you? What would you do? Let’s face the facts, in the comments of one of my posts, a fellow blogger told me that we, as individuals, are the ONLY ONE that can make a child’s life brighter. Am I following the right road? Spiritually I know the answer. Worldly it’s more of a crap-shoot. I am open to your opinions. Now, SOUND OFF!!!



  1. I don’t know where to start so I am going to skip to the bottom. This isn’t even a question of whether you should or should not, but instead whether you have the capacity. This is not a mean-spirited question by the way, taking in other peoples children is tough and requires a different set of skills than raising your own, even when you know those children’s background.

    I use to foster. It was always, without question the right thing to do for the child and it was always hard.

    So the only answer is if you and your spouse have the emotional bank to make the long-term investment, do it. Just know the end of the road is you will ultimately lose the children back to their mother and there will be nothing you can do to save them, it will hurt.

    If you think you can convince DSS and a judge in the meantime that you all are the best placement, fight hard to keep them. Anything you do, any investment you make in them today may well stick and that makes it worth everything.

    • Thanks for the input Val.Grant

  2. Hands down, it is a question of whether or not you can raise four more. In time (and in this case it sounds like a long time), they will be returned to her. It will be a wide swinging yo-yo until then.

    I know you love them. You and Sue would do anything for them. You both need to sit down and think…really, truly think with your heads, not your hearts. Consider things like health, finances, how much you remember about children that age, how you will separate yourself from their mother until she gets her poop in a group.

    You are good for and to all of the children who come through your house, and I know this from personal experience. Be careful, though. I would hate (will hate) to see your hearts broken over this.

    And if I can help, let me know. I love you all,

    • Thanks Red. Sounds like a lot of us need to do some soul searching about the future. Love you, Grant

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