Posted by: grantahelms | December 18, 2011

I’m Okay… Liar!

What is the most common lie that all people use on a daily basis, regardless of gender, age, spiritual preference or position in life? Yep, you got it… I’m fine or I’m Okay whichever you prefer to say. You may wonder why I am calling you a liar? If you had an argument with your spouse before you left home this morning, are you fine? Don’t think so. At some point in time, you’ll have to repair the damage done. If your child became too big for a kiss this morning, are you fine? Doubt it. Face it, if you’re a family person, the maturity loss of a child is a hard burden to bear. Why do children have to grow up? Why do we have to go from being super heroes to idiots within a few years? Yes, for all of you who are super heroes to your young children now, you WILL BE idiots in a few years. Are you okay with that? LIAR! Start thinking about all the things weighing on your mind. Spouse, children, work or lack of, bills, bill collectors, collections agencies, legal finances( tags, taxes, insurance), friends and their problems, work projects, school projects, extended family, Christmas, birthdays, illicit relationships, etc.. And this is just the physical thoughts! What about the things that are considered the deadly sins: lust, greed, envy, gluttony, pride, etc… Are you okay? Are you really? LIAR!! At some point in time, we have to let go. I read in a blog today about a lady standing on a ledge( figuratively at trying to decide which way to go. To many people today do this literally? When I was 17, a close friend of mine hung himself. Why? He was the son of a preacher and he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant. At times I wonder how life would be if he were still here. Would we still be friends? Would he be a good father? Would he have become a preacher? I don’t know. All I know is the loss that his family still feels to this day. Have you ever felt this way? Ever felt that things would be better if they were finished? This is the time that I find the need to stop and listen. Call it meditation, call it what you will. Our days are numbered, and it’s not our job to decide what that number is. And I’m not trying to preach, I just want you to think. If I say I’m okay, will I be lying? People have a genuine need to help others. Don’t let them miss a blessing by saying that your okay. Please, be honest. With them, and most of all, with yourself, Grant



  1. Then again, have you ever met someone who is never fine? Not good either. However, you are correct that all of us lie about how we’re doing. Maybe we think others are not really interested; maybe we think we’re being strong; maybe we just don’t want to share our issues with said person. Whatever the reason, it is still a lie and lying is a sin. Something to think about for sure 🙂 When someone asks me ‘how you doing?’, I say, “I’m doing” instead of I’m OK or doing well…. It gets the point across without going into detail.

    I hate it when people feel they have to hide what’s going on behind that fake smile. How can I pray for you if I have no clue you are struggling (don’t need all the details, just that you need prayer). And, it happens more in church than anywhere else.

    Great post Grant. I love the ones that make you think 🙂

    • Thanks Angela. If you liked this, I hope that you’ll go “Gaga” over the 8 am post. God Bless You, Grant

  2. What a lovely post Grant. Though many times we say “I am okay” because the alternative is simply to great a burden even for our own pitiful selves to bear that day. Some days it is simply a matter of positive reinforcement of how we need the day to be, not a lie simply a decision.

    Yet, something to think about reaching out when we need to. Some of us don’t do that.

    • Thanks Val. Hope that you’ll voice on the 8 am post also, Grant

  3. That is right Grant, we say it all the time just so we don’t have to go into details.I agree with Angela, we can pray for a person. You can say “I am doing” than we can pray for them to help them. Another good one babe. Love you.

    • Couldn’t do it without you. Love you, Grant

  4. I suppose, being the odd duck which I am, I can definitively say, I am not okay. I hate hearing, “I.m fine” or “I’m good” even when it is followed by “What about you?”

    First, they are not. Second, they could care less because if they did they would not have lied to the question in the first place.

    I say, “Fair to partly cloudy” or “Better than yesterday” or “Please wait for the press release” (especially if it is a terrible day).

    Very interested in the 0800 post….
    Love you! And glad you said this.

  5. Yes, you make good points here. Let me just throw this in. There are times when the person asking me about how I am doing really don’t appear to care. So, maybe I just don’t want to get into it with someone that doesn’t really want to know. Right or wrong, I think that is one honest answer to this issue. If we really care for one another, than why not be open. If we are just asking because it is the polite thing to do, I would rather not be asked.

    • I completely understand and agree. It’s kind of like people at a funeral saying” I feel your pain OR Can I do anything for you?” They are just being sociable. Maybe at a time in the past, they may have felt the same type of pain (loss of parent, grand-parent, child, spouse, etc.), but everyone has different pain thresholds. Can you bring my loved one back? Then you can’t do anything for me! I am so thankful that I’m saved. I would hate to experience another death, such as my grandmother, without the Grace of God in my heart. Just remember, when someone asks how you are doing, be honest but be creative. My personal favorite is “God is good!”. Thanks, Grant

  6. I agree with Derek that frequently people really don’t want to know. Sometimes I will respond, “do you really want to know?’ Surprises a lot of people.
    I also think that if I have very little relationship with you, it is none of your business how I am doing.
    However, there are many times that I really am fine. I have been so blessed in my life, that the few struggles I have hardly seem worth mentioning. How I am doing is always a balance between the good things and the not so good things. Most of the time, for me, the good far outweighs the bad.
    Sometimes we forget to “be content in all circumstances” and “be thankful in all things.”
    During the times when I am really struggling, and if I think you really care and I can trust you, then I am most blessed to have a friend to share my pin.

    • Deep, thoughtful comments like this, is why I consider you to be a mentor. Thank you for standing by my side and giving me the occasional “spanking” when it is called for. God Bless You, Grant

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